Gone with the wind

It was a breezy and cooling late a.m., the crisp clean exquisite air of JB. It felt like Melbourne and I felt freedom and happiness, the long lost feeling that I have not felt in a long, long time. I wish I could grasp the feeling, hold it and bring it with me. But it was temporary. I knew right away it was the feeling that I could never get back. It has already long gone with the wind. I wish I was gone too. But why am I still here when life is so empty. People in the crowded street are cleared away one by one but me, me who still stand alone on this lonely and isolated street. Is it obvious that I am the only one left behind. I see people changed, progressed and are moving forward in their lives. Faith and destiny have found them but me. I want to move forward too myself, just not knowing where to - directionless. I was too naïve to always think that time will never change and things will always be the same. Foolish was I. Whenever I am at the turning point, I never hit through and ended up in circles. Days go by too fast and I feel that my life is being pushed and fast forwarded with no fulfillment. I want to break free and I so want to break through year two thousand and nine, the year of emptiness, bad luck, disgust and vagueness. Not one bit is mesmerizing and worth recalling. I say no thanks and yes goodbye.