Yeah, my exact emotions - feeling unsecured and scared. No one is showing any sign of supportiveness on the decisions i am trying to take and here i am sitting on the clouded issues, the accumulated issues that pisses me off me so much, that is making me scared and uncertain of life. I really do not want to collect anger and carry to another day. I have tried my best to put it all together but it did not really last and no matter how much i get in touched with my inner self and chanting the word OM does not fucken work. Perhaps, i should hit the plane to tibet to attain inner peace from the dalai lama. But someone said to me that i need to see a psychiatrist instead :O wtf. I may sound like some problem maniac kid or a nutcase but the fact is that i feel mentally raped and i know what i am going and battling through. Even though i wear a big smile everyday, i feel apart, so inadequate, so weak, so defenseless. Perhaps i should weep away the unwanted feelings though i live in constant fear and making choices that is not mine. I feel like i am living in the shadow, living someone elses dream, someone elses life. When is the right to take control and stop letting fear control my life and how do i stop being so fearful on taking decision. Maybe i need to trust myself more and be confident that i will get through things and need not worry so much. But....but..where the hell do i even begin with.
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