The vanishing life

The conscience has shown and the sweet breeze has blown but where have all the hopes gone. I wonder if hope still lingers on. Sitting alone I don’t know why. All the talks I have been listening, all the words I have been reading and the roads I have been walking. I thought I have found the road to somewhere but it seems like it’s the road to no where.

I walk up on high and step to the edge to see the world below. I frown to see all the years roll down and watched my life goes by. Heart full of pain, head full of thorns and a hole in my soul. Space-less to even walk outside my mind.

When night falls, eyes won’t shut, feeling alive because bitterness and hatred is too strong. Piercing every thought together and finding the words to feel better. I want to heal and I hope it is never real. I cried out god help me.

Life is unfair like a punishment that does not seem to fit the crime. Only if life is like a novel where I could rewrite an ending that fits.

I am just another god created human wanting a happy mediocre life.

Untitled

Things will never be like they were. I will never live in the shoes I used to walk in. Things do not have the same old feeling and words do not have the same old meaning anymore.
This one year has been the hardest of life, weighed down by unhappiness and everything just shivered grey. Sometimes it even hurts to breath.
But I have no regrets with the path i chose.
After all, it’s the experiences that brushed my life and the knowledge I have gained.

I have my lessons learned and I have grown a slightly wiser.
My mind has probed to the extent that I am aware of what I see, what I feel, and what I think.
I have witnessed with my own pair of bare eyes the true colours of people.
The world is cold and phases in life continue.

Hate Loathe Detest

Hate is a strong word but it is the best word to describe my feeling towards her. Her scream is burning my pride and bleeding my brain. I block her scream so I do not lose my mind. But she slowly crawls in my dreams every night just to give me nightmares. She leaves me nothing but fear. Hate her for the things she ask me to do, the way she talks sarcastically and especially the way she yells at me. I can no longer swallow not one bit of her instruction. Hate her today. Hate her tomorrow. Hate her forever unless she changes her entire attitude. Do not smile at me just to put it on my face. Fucken fake piece of shyte. She gives me nothing but anger and tipsiness. An ounce of peace and space is what I want from her. Go away. Leave me. I hate her. One fucken mad day, I am so waving bye to her. The day will come.